I won't waste time welcoming you in. I am going to just get to it.
I am.. tired. I woke up at 5am, but this was, welcome. I had been dreaming of the dark. A dream with my eyes closed, but I could hear and feel my location. I could faintly hear the pipes of Pan, playing, and a woman giggling and singing. I knew what was happening immediately. I wanted to open my eyes, I wanted to see Him. And while I struggled to do so, I heard the mystery woman get off Pan's lap! And another female came to her, and they fought, pulling hair and clawing, the ruckus played over with Pan cheering and playing his pipes to fit the scene.
I am! In awe! I mean, the "fight over me ladies" is always expected with him! But it made me chuckle. Like "yes fight for my amusement." But! I could hardly hear what they said; as I was further away in what seemed to be an alcove with cushions and pillows as far as I could feel. I'm sad! I heard him speak, but could not see him!
Which brings me to this. A few nights ago I had a dream I was in a cavern, in a cave pool kicking my feet, and I look over and see Pan! Watching me kindly, his eyes glowing like one would see with nightvision; in white not green. They were so beautiful? Evidently he could see me, and was smirking, also beautiful. I woke up, after studying his features, and quickly drew it the morning that followed! I added his hand because he seemed to be shushing me as I woke.
Click for Image
I mostly was in shock and awe about it. But lately he's been gracing me with dreams more and more.. I would like to think this is in part, due to the nature of our current set up. I invite him into my life every day. And sit with him in meditation, before fully starting the day off! Just to catch vibe and feel him in my world. I offer him things like parts of food, or sips of drink. And I generally.. just feel AT HIM, a lot. I feel like, a partner. When I see something, I go, oh Pan would like this, or even go as far as saying hey! Look Pan!!
Words.. cannot express what these little dreams, these moments mean to me. Whether they are in the Dreaming or not. Fiction or a little bone tossed my way in the shape of a dream.. I am grateful he thinks of me. I am pleased, that he is so gentle with me. And cares. When I woke, from the dream, the more recent? I felt a quiet.. "I'm sorry love." As if he said this to quell any jealousy. To let me know that while he played with Nymphs, he loves me too. That because I am corporeal, he must be affectionate differently. Which, of course I know this. But hearing him acknowledge it, meant the world.
Anyway.. I love Pan. This does remind me. The title of this day's blog post.
You, Me, and the Sacred Ache of Change Taking Root; Things are getting better for me, personally. In my life, and in my Practice. This year has been steady with dramatis, and fear, but I am doing much better. With a keypoint in my Runes, i've made light that Odin wants to teach me about Seiðr and the Runes. This.. surprised the heck out of me. I knew he'd been in and out of my life for a long while, but woah! He came on strongly, but only long enough to say he would not force his way in. But wished to be there at my side.
That said.. I am expecting a channeling on major points of a reading with him, from one of my favorite Oracles.. I know I could channel big guy myself, but I like to make sure i'm not wholly crazy. I checked, for confirmation of the previous reading, and a friend read it with the same meaning in tarot cards. So I went, what the heck? Let's give a little time to Odin!
Of course i'm balancing my plates, but I do so as best as I can.