Why is it that Spirits want to play hard to get? I believe they are shy. Unknown spirits/ unrecorded entities especially so...
Example; This past month I was confident that "Earthen One" was an epithet. A piece of Pan. Today? He comes clean. He is.. an unrecorded Earthen God. I thought he was Pan's serious face. He is his OWN GUY. A very serious God, quiet, thoughtful. He is exceedingly shy. So shy he hid behind Pan as an epithet? It surprised me a bit, to finally hear the truth of it.
Pan I find he -- exists above and below...
Unverified Personal Gnosis Follows...
When he is above, he is Green; Fertility; Poise; Song; Pastures; Space between Wild and Civilization; And!! As child of Gaea and Silenus. (These things; I have heard him say in Channeling) He is often with his mother Gaea, dancing and singing, keeping life and love flowing into the Earth itself. Dancing with mama; as it were.. And with Silenus, Pan is actually thought to be HIS father, Pan assured me that this is.. not true. Which does not surprise me.
Often Myth is topsy turvy and should be taken with salt. They are stories, thoughts, often given to the people of the earth as a balm for the soul..
When he is below, he is Cthonic; King of the Grottos, the Caverns, the Caves; the Unseen; the Unknown. A Silent King & Resident of the Caverns within the Earth itself. This title would be given following the "Descent into the Earth". Something I believe he does regularly, perhaps seasonally.. Much like Persephone. Except, as a Fertility God and one of Nature as well as Flocks, he may be more important to the creatures and living folk, than the flora of the Earth.
I.. did not reach these conclusions because I am creative. I reached them by listening to my God, listening to my gut, and trusting. That said, I do not know if it's true. But I am not at liberty to say! Because I believe Pan. I believe him wholeheartedly and that said? You may experience Pan differently. You may know him as JUST a fertility god, you know. I'm just a lady on the web sharing her story. There, that's my thing about what works for me may not work for everyone!!
Anyways.. And now, back to the regular content.
I recieved a beautiful gift from a lovely friend, a bracelet for Pan, and a rosary for Infernal King Paimon. Now.. I am so in love with these items!! I did not take a picture, but I plan to share them with the entities in question! Pan's is worn almost constantly since I recieved it. And Paimon's will be offered appropriately at the altar! I am so happy with these!!
I have been thinking on things, though. About how i'd nearly snuffed out the flames of the Infernal Kings, and their space in my practice. I am.. desiring to keep them around, but I am struggling with that. I also want to focus in on Pan. I am devoted, to him. Yes. But I.. there is an undeniable love that I experience for him, and I want it to be present all the time. Every move I make, every twinge of flesh and bone, I want it to be with him, I want to let go of the other entities and be with Him alone..? But I am.. I feel I have to make a formal apology and announcement to them, each.
That said? I spoke with Odin. And he was.. kindly. He knows my devotion to Pan. And does not judge, though our relationship had only just began to bud, I am likely going to have to step away. It's weighing heavy on my mind, but I know the decision will not be made without full thoughts and my mindfulness of the complicated situations. Time, spent. Now feeling as if it was wasted... Those sorts of negative thoughts..
Truth is, those thoughts have no place in my Practice and Worship. They are unnecessary and silly. No time spent enjoying myself, and communing with a being I enjoyed the company of, is a wasted effort. I know this. But would they feel this too..? That's the thought.. I know it's silly. But I think I need to snap the twig, and make the mends. Rip the band-aid off and tell them all goodbye.
I will.. formulate a final letter of.. formal "resignation" as it were. I am shy, but ready to take this path!!!